Doctor Visit

Today's post is really short. I mean like Sara short.... I mean, uhhh crap.

I went to the Endocrinologist for my 4 month check up. It still cracks me up, that unless I really have any major concerns, my average appointment length is more than half as long as it takes me to get to see my doctor. But I am not complaining, Dr. Kissin is a really great lady and very easy to talk to when needed.

Here's the run down.

Standard Greeting/ Response
Any blood work?? Oh, here's the file.
Everything looks good.
Here's the stuff from Beepy and my meter.
Wow...
Any changes to your pump/basal settings?
Okay, lets hop on the scale.....
(They always set the starting weight so low, apparently I truly don't look my weight).
Hmm... You've gained about 10 pounds. (Crap!)
Alright, lets check your breathing, pulse, blood pressure.
All's good! (Woot.)
Let me see your feet.
Did you know your ankles swollen?? (What?!?! Well I'll be damned, I mean it was sore and all.)
You should probably ice that. (I guess I shouldn't play basketball tonight?)

Well you really need to get your eyes looked at... I will I just need to find someone in Clifton, who does that. I am not going to drive back to my other person. Fine, fine.

Any prescription refills? One Touch Delica, okay no problem. Your all set. Have a good day.

15 minutes tops. I love it. I mean, I know that when/if I have issues she will talk to me more. We spoke about the Ketone Meter and everything, so it was all good.

Now I am going to post a picture of what my a1c was. If you want to look at it scroll further. If you don't, stop here. Today was a decent day, other than the 10lbs. Need to get back on a routine. Only 25 more days to the Outer Banks.

Running up against the wall so to speak

Recently I have hit a wall. Actually, figuratively, hypothetically. I don't know. The wall is just hanging out there tormenting me. I hate the wall.

Stupid wall. Maybe it is burn out. Not the normal run of the mill diabetes burn out. I mean, do I have days where it is a pain in the ass to test, change, bolus, basal, whatever? Yes. But I am fine with that. I mean we all have things we hate. I mean getting up at the crack ass of dawn drives me nutso, I think I don't like that more than I don't like my diabetes (weird). But such is life.

It is the other things about life that I am tired of. While people tell me I am thin and all, I am not thin nor am I fat. But my goal was before my next doctor's appointment (tomorrow), that I was going to drop 15 pounds. I'll be lucky if I only gained 5 or so pounds. My goal was to run more but also work on my sprinting and training for sports such as Frisbee and the like. That failed. I am just so annoyed with myself. I mean there is so much that I could have been doing and have done not one thing. I had a routine, that's shot. It's all gone, the motivation everything. The frikin brick wall is out to get me.

It is just a pain. We set these goals, and yet never finish them. But where do I go? I know I can start from scratch, but why? I had a great routine going until the ankle incident in the fall. That set me back. There were other incidents as well. I feel stronger, my ankle is great. I should be out there, yet the excuses are there time and time again. I am just annoyed. Tomorrow's appointment with my endo will be interesting. I mean, my control has been pretty good. Not to many High's and my Low's are in better control. I am hoping for a good number, but we shall see. I just need to get over this hump.

Who knows maybe the hump is the inevitable mid, midlife crisis. I turn 30 on Sunday so that also has me in a funk. Not the age or number. No, not at all. The "old man" aches and pains that I have. The loss of energy. Who knows. I am tired and beat up. Not motivated at all. What a joke, what a waste. I need to turn it around, but every time I try or start, that bloody wall is there.

No Music Today

Today is a fail in my eyes.
I have no song and I can hear the cries.
I am so tired, since I couldn't sleep.
The song part of my brain is not making a peep.

Yeah, sorry that is all I have as of right now. I have the music in my head, I just can't think of anything. Well, truthfully I am just really busy. My boss has been away the past two weeks and I am now the "responsible" one in charge of things. Can I handle it? Well the normal stuff yes. Not the maintenance man jumping from shifting scaffolding and breaking his femur. The multiple funerals and other things that seem to only come in when the boss is away. The list of things keeps going on. Yet all is good. I just need sleep and when the boss comes back on Sunday I am all about laziness.

I mean there are some positives out there and I am not speaking about the 100+ heat outside right now. I have had a chance to think about things. Like last night, when I was trying to sleep. It finally happened around 3:00 AM. I thought about changes in life, in what I should be blogging about things like that. I decided to blog about some FFL Swag next week. I just need to speak to the proper people about certain things. I thought about maybe, what I can do to tweak my blog in general. Pictures, maybe a new look, who knows.

But truthfully last night, I thought about how lucky I am and how lucky so many of us are. To have some many friends out in the DOC is amazing. To have met them just a few weeks ago, was awesome. I mean before meeting them my involvement was in the inner/outer fringes of things. Twitter was the sound that birds made. Tweet was the same. I mean I have had twitter but never the need to deal with it or really use it. That changed.

I have names, I have faces, I have friends who understand. I know they can be forgiving, yet mocking of auto-correct typos. Yes, I am talking to you #complexcrabs. They make me laugh when I need it. I am so glad to have my own office and desk. Because some days the stuff these people say kill me. I mean, in tears laughing my ass off. I have support that I never knew of. Yes, I have a great endo. I have a really good friend who is a PWD, but never anyone to really, really talk to. I have the inspiration to get more involved. Granted, the "Great Poison Ice Cream Scandal" is something I am yet willing to wade into. That is more because the nicest thing in my vocabulary at this point is asshat. So I think I will let coolerish heads prevail.

I have the support I need when I need it, which is something that has been lacking in my life. All of this is stuff I thought about last night, while trying to sleep. And while yes I told Kimpants (auto-correct renames her Implants) I tried to read her blog to fall asleep last night. That is not true. I have people who I can just say words to and know they understand. I have a knowledge base about certain things and ideals out there. I mean thanks to Sara, I now know how to make my Dexcom last longer than it ever could. Thanks to people like Kim, C, Jess, Jacquie, Scott, Scott, Martin, Heather, Karen, George, Kerri, I have a way to laugh all the time. I mean this is only the beginning. There are others out there I may have forgotten. Lorraine and Shay. The coolest Type Awesome Josh and Becca the T9. OMG so many. This is so great and wonderful. I am so blessed and lucky right now.

It's a wonder with all of these thoughts racing through my head, why I couldn't sleep last night. Thank you guys, you rock. And yeah Halloween with real candy is so on.

Again, thank you all. You have passed on more than you know and I hope I too can emulate you on some levels. Just not the in love with Sam Talbot that C and Jacquie and Sara were toting. That is all you girls... :-p

Friday and another song

Kimpants and all last night inspired this song on me. I don't know why, how, or where it came from. But I was tweeting them and I said to self, "crap I need another song for Friday." Followed, by "I feel like it will be alright." So yeah, you have to have a clue where this song is coming from.
By the way if you type Kimpants into your phone auto correct changes her name to Implants. Later I may tell you about some of my more humorous auto corrects this past week.

Thank you Black Eyed Peas for a song that is so easy to adapt. Granted I could have kept going with more of this song, but the repetition was killing me.

"I Gotta Feeling" (Blood Sugar Version)

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low, low night.

It’s a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night, 

That tonight’s gonna be a low night, 

That tonight’s gonna be a low night. 

 

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night

That tonight's gonna be a low night

That tonight's gonna be a low, low night

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low, low night

 

Tonight's the night, bolus up
I got to swag, to keep it up
Go out and eat it, like oh my God
I overbolused, oh crap I was off

I knew that bolus was off

If  only I had counted and done what was right

I feel stressed out, I need to eat some more

I might as well eat like I’m losing all control

Fill up my cup, not Diet Coke

Look at me sweating, can’t stop it now
Let’s test my sugar, it’s spiking down
I’ll eat some carbs, and then we'll test it again

Let's test it, let's test it, let's test it, let's test it
And test it and test it, let's hope it’s up
And test it and test it and test it, test it, test it
Let's test it, let's test it, let's test it

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low, low night.

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low, low night

A Week Ago Today

I figured if I was going to title a blog about change since last week this is the best title. However, this is not the best title. You will see why as my mind decompresses not depresses over a weeks plus worth of thoughts, emotions, experiences, feelings, noises, messes, and so on. How can I in one simple blog post outline one of the greatest if not GREATEST experiences I have ever encountered in my life since being diagnosed with Type-1 diabetes oh so many years ago. I have always guestimated it was January of 1995 but I could be so wrong on this that I will one day actually have to come up with a real DOD, date of diagnosis.
That being said, I will stand by my previous comment about this being the GREATEST thing ever. I can blog about this for hours, in looking at "ze Bloggers" that have already started or tried to do this, there is a major issue. So much information overload, that who knows what the heck or where the heck to start first. Well, I guess the easiest place should be to mention where I was. I attended the "Children with Diabetes: Friends for Life Conference" in Orlando, Florida last week. Yes, I know children seems odd for a 20 something year old to be going to. However the program has developed for more than just children. It not also has a smaller but just as good adult track, which is what I attended. So I got to do something great and now talk about it. Anyway, back to my comment of where to start? For me that is simple. I met some awesome people. For the first time in many many years I have had an opportunity to hang out and chat with multiple type-1's and type-3's. Which was great. I have never had an opportunity like this. Online is fun don't get me wrong, but meeting, greeting, harassing in the case of Kerri (Carie), it is a completely different experience all together.
So that is what I can tell you so far. I am still working on things. But back to the title "A Week Ago Today" I learned so many amazing things and entered a "new" world for me. And so here is what I have learned to date, but again there is so much more to this.
A week ago today:

...I learned that I was one among many awesome adults with type-1 diabetes.

... I learned that there is such a thing as a Diabetes Alert Dog and how awesome they are, even when they are sleeping and making hilarious noises. (Hi Becca)

... I learned how awesome "ze bloggers" I met were and how glad I am to now call them friends.
... I learned what I can do and how not to worry when my machines, pancreas, and everything about me goes nutso. I am not alone in this.
... I learned that no matter what and despite diabetes, "You can do this!". (Time for me to take a swig of diet coke)
... Diet Coke is not as much fun unless you can put it into a mug and chug, chug, chug.
... I learned that when one is giving a talk about swimming in a Triathalon, the best way to emmulate swimming is to look as if you are doing weird ass jazz hands in front of a large crowd of people. Don't even get me started on how one runs a marathon.

A week ago today, I made so many new friends I don't know where to begin, end, or start. Yet I know now, how great these people are. How much inspiration they are to me. How good it is to not be alone. I also learned why we all need to make time to go beyond our comfort zone and branch out. Otherwise, I would have spent last week sitting in Jersey making crazy jokes and having no new friends to laugh at them.

Guilty as charged

So I am going to honestly admit that I haven't even thought about what to post or say post Friends For Life 2011. I came home Sunday completely exhausted and went and played ultimate frisbee which was awesome. I followed that by crashing and sleeping in my bed to dive right into life in the real world. I have concluded that it is just not as much fun. Visits to hospital today. E-mail. People to call. All just waiting for me. It was good but yeah.
I managed to actually download pictures from then trip and began to sort them and upload all of them. But that is it. I had more work stuff to do and am currently in my bed already for bed, all the while reaching twitter and just missing all the fun I had. It is amazing how much this trip made me think about tongs and stuff I have been ignoring and just meeting the awesomest group of people. Kim and Jess. Carrie and Caleb. Scott and Scott. Courtney and Jacquie. And so many others. Awesome. More to follow another day. I am off tomorrow so most likely Wednesday. Woot.

Anticipation

So I am chilling at gate C71 at the airport waiting for my flight to Orlando. I have so much time because I worry when I travel and want to make sure there are no security issues and all. For me it is how to get through security without my cgm setting things off. Today was a fail once again. Sigh.
I am used to it though. I mean I could forgo the cgm for the day but why waste my money on the cgm taking out early? The people who go through security are always nice. Apologetic even.
The guy I had today asked if I had done this before and if I knew what was to expect? I said ya and it took 5 minutes tops to go through it all. We chatted weather, travel, and apparently a pump he ran into last week that he claims was in the guys leg.  He said it was below the skin so I was not sure what he was talking about but all is good.
I can chill, get more iced coffee since it will be the last Dunkin for a bit unless I wander off site. I am so psyched to meet some of these people that until now have just been blogs or Facebook friends. Can't wait to see y'all (yes I say y'all and I am from the north. No clue where that comes from.) Oh, and of course the conference and Mickey too!!!

Another Friday, another song, but so not finished

I have no idea where today went. All week, I had plans of this awesome set of song lyrics in my head. I listened to the song, made mental notes (forgot mental notes), and well yeah. This morning started great. But I got busy fast. I had Communion calls to make, things to do, checkbooks to balance before Monday (somehow my one checking account was all out of sorts and it took me an hour to figure out that I entered two receipts in twice on different dates, it took forever so my day vanished fast.) Anyway, I worked on the song I was supposed to be but at 8:00 at night not in the morning. So it needs some big work.
Anyway, I wrote this parody of Poker Face, I am calling it poke your hand, as in when I was little and my parents kept asking what my sugar was when I was moody or actually low.

Poke Your Hand

I want to know what your blood sugar is right not,

know it cause your mood makes me think it is low.

I want to know it.

Look at the screen and tell it to me please.

And after you have done it, you can go back to your game.

Ouch, owww, ow, oww.

Ouch, owww, ow, oww

It really hurts, it really really does.

Poke your hand, poke your hand, your sugar, what is it now?

Poke your hand, poke your hand, what is your sugar now?

My sugar is… my sugar is… my sugar is… I’m not telling you. 

Anywho, this is all I got. I am going to veg. now and enjoy the Subway Series.