Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Tremendously Wordless: Christmas

So I am cheating today. My picture covers yesterday's Tremendous and today's Wordless post.

So yesterday I was out shopping to buy this very nice Christmas Tree for my room. I thought I was not going to be dealing with a tree this year. Until people kept giving me ornaments. Which is  TREMENDOUS!!! Jess sent me the blue one! The celtic cross came from my grandmother's tree. The Santa ornament is from my trip to Radio City Music Hall, which I did not want to go to. The Dunkin Donut cup is AWESOME as a way of truly proving my love for Iced Coffees. I love It. Yes the tree is askew, but I only got it out of the box last night. So I am trying to set things up still. It is great! I love my friends. (Now I need to finish sending out my Christmas Season cards!)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The guilt of the guilty

The guilt of the guilty is a nice little address to all of us out there during this holiday season. I was thinking maybe today's Blog should start out with something different. I figured it....

(Cue slowly increasing orchestral music) (Deep announcer voice)

"In a world full of sweets and treats..."
"In a world full of, 'Can you eat that?'"
"In a world where all's we want are some bacon and cupcakes."

(Crescendo and Loud BLAST of music)

Starring: You, yourself, your chosen vessel of insulin conveyance, and of course that person who gives you "that look."

You know the look I am talking about.... 
Not the raised eyebrow, hey you are you supposed to be eating that look? You know to much sugar can kill you... make you lose a leg.... go blind.... 

The one where you want to respond with the, "$%$%#!!!!!" Drinking can kill you! Peanuts can kill you!!! My fist, yeah that too can kill you." DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. You know the look I am talking about. Granted, my picture doesn't do it justice, because I don't judge you when you grab that cookie, coconut bar, peanut butter and chocolate coated pretzel....... (drool). 

Sorry where was I? Oh yes. I don't judge. Hence why I can't take an adequate picture of the raised eyebrow guilty look. Oh do I hate that look. But is getting that look worth the food?? Heck yeah it is. So what if you get that look. You can do this. Yeah, that's right. Granted my analogy to the project is not technically right. It has nothing to really do with eating cupcakes and bacon, well not to much. More about getting through daily life with d and such. But nonetheless, it still means something. 

Yes we will get that look. We feel guilty, however if you properly plan, bolus, swag, or whatever you are fine. If you forget, get it covered. Alright, so maybe during the holiday season your numbers are higher. Am I going to judge you? Nope. Why? Because we too can enjoy food from time to time. Yet, we do need to still do the rest of the work. Test, bolus, basal properly, correct, whatever we need to do. 

Don't feel the guilt of that look. Don't get discouraged. You are who you are, you have your weaknesses. You can walk the walk, talk the talk, and eat the cupcake. (I couldn't say eat the eat, that is just weird).

*Disclaimer: I have no ties to the You Can Do this Project. I am to terrified to make a Vlog still. I like the idea though. Kimpants is a friend of mine and I really like the project. My brief definition of the "You can do this project" may not have fully or accurately described the awesomeness of the project and what it does. Also, just because Kim may or may not have promised me additional puppy pictures that are not dirty if I mentioned her in a blog means absolutely nothing. I don't have to claim anything down here.....

** Disclaimer to the disclaimer: Kimpants did not promise me puppy pictures in any capacity to talk about her or her project. That was all a lie. I am not a good person from time to time. C told me that the other night. I can't seem to find the tweet right now. Something about me being Holy or something. I will have to look into where that one went. Found it.... 

 Are you still reading this disclaimer? Seriously, there is nothing else here. Not even a link to a video or something like that. Nothing at all to do with unicorns or anything like that. 

*** One last DISCLAIMER. I love the DOC and Merry Christmas to you all. If you are not Catholic or of the Christian persuasion, Happy Solstice. You guys are totally awesome. But seriously, did you just read all of the disclaimers?? I mean one day I will have a legit one one day.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: The good, the bad, the ugly.

The good, the bad, and ugly. Or in this case my week in pictures.

All of my presents are wrapped and labeled.
Christmas cards still not done.

One day after taking a cleat to the leg. Granted the one who cleated me sprained his ankle.
Obviously the last post is the ugly. I am to tired to figure out why blogger won't let me add the word between the pictures. I know it is a simple fix, but meh....

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Tremendous Tuesday: Drained

So today is a great Tuesday. Totally, tremendously awesome. While I may have been slacking on my Christmas cards. I did get a bunch done over the weekend. That was awesome. I have a bunch of my Christmas shopping done. Just not my Christmas Wrapping (not the rap stuff, you don't want to hear me freestyle it.) That is tremendous as well.

However the two great joys of the week.... Sunday I gave blood for the first time. I did my research, I went over to the school auditorium. I sat down and began the process. It wasn't to bad. I looked at the conditions and answered the electronic questions. I was asked by the machine if I ever took beef insulin. I said no and that was it. Nothing else. I went and they did the prelim screening, one of things done was an iron in the blood check. That hurt like a bitch. No other way to say it. They take a lancing device from the dark ages and hit your finger. You would think me being a daily lancer I would be able to brush it off... Not so much. It hurt like a mother. My finger is still sore.... Granted they did take a lot of blood from there, it still was not nice. I finally wandered over to be drained. That wasn't to bad. I sat, I watched, I finished, and I drank and rewarded myself with a donut. WOOO! That was tremendous and if nothing else, I will now know my blood type.

The other tremendous thing for the week was I received word that my closing for a timeshare was going through without a hitch and I should be expecting paperwork soon. The great thing about that is, now when I need to travel to Florida for FFL or other events to see my friends. I have a "free' place to stay, and if I don't want to see people I can always just go to Disney and have fun. WOOOO! That is so tremendous. Not to mention Christmas is fast approaching!

Merry Christmas and 5 more posts until something else tremendous happens.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: Holiday Fail

I promised myself last night I was going to sit down and just write out all of my Christmas Cards, yes Christmas, not Holiday, Seasonal, or whatever.

Judging by the unopened boxes and annoyance at myself that did not happen. I read a book last night. I finished said book and started another book. #FAIL!!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Tremendous Tuesday: Christmas Music

While I have been on a Christmas Music protest until really last week, I am officially over my boycott. That being said I can joyfully spread those songs that will keep popping up on playlist. I have a very random playlist of music and some of these songs are many different ones.

  1. One Last Christmas - Matthew West (Alright, this puppy is gonna make you cry. Sorry)
  2. 12 Days of Christmas - Straight No Chaser
Ya know what. Lazy here. Day off....... You really can go find your own.

Plus, as I truly start looking at this this playlist and the time, effort, embarrassment, heckling I know know I will get. on this one I regret the thought already.

Heck, I did regret it. I am almost tempted to take this whole think down and make fun of myself completely. Because that is who I am.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Sunday Musings

I know creative title. Well some days this is all you can get from me. I can have spurts, I am usually better when someone gives me a topic. But well when it's just me. I have no promises as to what I can come up with. Point in case (I know it should be a case in point, but there my specialness is attacking even here.), I was thinking about this Holiday season and all of the fun and joyous things that may/could be happening.

I really got excited though when I thought about Christmas Cards, but we will get back to those in a little bit......

Did the suspense kill you?? Do you need a cinnamon cure? How about a piece of Trident, that is all I got, and it's not cinnamon it's watermelon, so no cure there either. One of the greatest joys in the world is when I get mail. Not to be confused with if I accidentally typed male, that would be weird. In the past few weeks, I received letters from the DOC, and it made me smile. Jess, has been really awesome with her correspondence, especially right after my grandmother died. It made me smile. Following that there was the letter from Sara and one from Kim as well. (Yes I know I have them mislinked, I mean they can be confusing. They are both successful bloggers, both take weird animal photo's, and both are not from NJ. So it is easy to confuse them.)
Why yes, it is a hovertank blowing a whole in my address. Weird.
And this I hope is only the beginning. I am excited about the fact that I may be getting cards from some of my friends (not a shameless plug, I swear). It has been so long since I have legitimately have had some excitement for Christmas cards. I mean I usually get the same one's... Fr. Brian, we are praying for you and love you, thank you for your vocation.... Love, ..... Great, but the cards one gets from friends are a hoot as well as personal. There is so much more to them and I love it. Plus, this year I am looking forward to mailing out some cards. That has been a while coming for me. I slacked last year. If you sent me a card, I sent you a card. That was the only way it worked. This time I am on my game. More or less.

Why though, what's different? Not a clue, maybe it is the closeness I have with friends who truly understand me. Well, maybe not me, lets be honest here. They understand my thoughts, my frustrations, and put up with my weirdness. If I want to bitch on twitter, someone might catch it and cheer me up. If I have been attacked by lows there are those to make sure I haven't been completely sidelined by them. If I just want to eat a Unicorn, someone is there to join me.... Cupcake, I mean a cupcake. So getting letters, sending them are a joy again. It makes me happy.

On a sidenote, today was the 3rd Sunday of Advent, which is also known as Gaudete Sunday, which means to rejoice or rejoice always. What a day to think about mail and to celebrate it. To rejoice at the coming of Christ on Christmas. To share that love to others. I love the preparation, I love the season. I love to Muse on Sunday's.

Peace, Love, and Unicorn Poo!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: VIP

So even with placing my empty box of insulin next to some very important paper. I still can't seem to remember to refill the prescription....

I may have been a little to creative in this data coverup.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Tremendous Tuesday: What Makes Me Happy

So it is with sadness that I write this post. Not the sadness of loss or despair, but there is some despair out there. My friend George, a.k.a. Ninjabetic retired his You Tube Tuesday Blog postings. Over the past year of reading him he has posted some very interesting videos, bands, and just entertaining things out there on that tube of you. So for me and maybe others there is that void out there of just joyous things that will show up on Tuesday's.

First of all, I am not trying to replace George. I am not trying to do anything other than bring joy and positivity into the lives of others. So today is what I am hoping something that will catch on with me and with others out there. Tremendous Tuesday. Why tremendous?? Well we have Wordless Wednesday (2 different ones out there), Sara has been Faith Fridaying it for a while. I try that from time to time, it doesn't always happen. So we have Wordless Wednesday, Faith Friday, obviously Tuesday needs a T name to it. Terrible? No. Trashy...??? No. Tubular (tempted)?? Alas, no. Tepid? NO. Tungsten?? Now I am just being ridiculous. So Tremendous. This is a day to post those moments of wow or awesome or things that just make you smile. Unicorns, Bacon, Cupcakes, monkeys in pink pajamas. Whatever, you wish to post about as long as it is tremendous.

Today, I just say one thing that makes me happy, which makes my day tremendous. I booked my flight last night to fly off sometime in February, to the magic land of Oz (Overland Park), to visit with some of my DOC friends for the weekend. I am happily calling the weekend #febtoberpalooza but the jury is still out on that one. I can't wait. I am excited. Plus it is my first vacation in a LONG time. So yeah. That is why today is a tremendous Tuesday.

I was not paid to disclose any of these blogs. I just did. I could have done more work, but I was lazy. I could have listed the friends that I might see, but I didn't because if I said names and did not link to them I would get yelled at. In fact I am just glad my paragraphs are all separated. There are more Wordless Wednesday's out there, I was just to lazy to find them. Are you seeing a pattern here. Today is a lazy day, it is my day off. So I am just doing some things that I want to do. I am not going to spend all day looking for the truly awesome worldless's out there. I am not going to spend all the time doing everything else. In fact I am going to pop on Elf and take a nap on the one day I have to myself. (end paragraph).... For those of you who read my disclaimer.... Wow. You too are tremendous.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

The number 5 AGAIN

Yeah I know this looks just like yesterday's blog post. Heck, even the title is somewhat close. Sue me or something like that. I am just going into explanations that a Wordless Wednesday shouldn't include. I think for me it's pretty good. Normally, I am not so wordless.

The first 5 was easy, my being 5 minutes early to the endo. No explanation needed. Well I hope not at least.

The 55 was apparently my glucose level at the time of taking my blood work last Tuesday. "Brian, did you realize your BG was 55 at the time of blood work?" "I knew I was lower than I wanted to be, but I had tested at 73." "Are you normally low like this in the morning?" "I am usually pretty consistent with my numbers in the morning. But I had ice cream last night, have you ever successfully figured that out?? I think this was pretty good for me." (I had ice cream again last night, woke up to a BG of 67, I think I need to adjust my temp. basal slightly). "But Doctor K, I was prepared for the 'low' and I did have something before I departed and drove home." "Ok."

5.5, that was my a1c, down from last times 5.6. Well, it looks good to me. She sees my graph from my Dexcom. That graph is on my other computer, if I remember to, I will post that picture. It is basically a straight line.

"Well this all looks good, I mean with an a1c of 5.5, some people would be worried about being hypo and everything, but you have the #cgm on all the time?" "Yeah, and it catches my drops and I catch most of them pretty quick." "Okay, well keep up the good work. I wish more of my patients were like this." That comment scared me, not that people don't have my numbers, because this has taken lots of work and time to sort out and I am still working on it. I just wondered about what else she ends up seeing, if she sees Young Adults like myself, elderly people, type 1, type 2, LADA.... What she sees on a daily basis and what their numbers are. Made me wonder if there was more I could or should be offering to her as a patient to help some of her other patients, who maybe are having difficulties. I really need to talk about the DOC to her one day.

We continue the exam, I timidly step on the scale. I dropped 2 pounds. Which is great, since I am slowly getting back on track with an exercise routine. Everything else was fine, no swollen ankles, she did not comment on my ripped up feet (my cleats rubbed the skin from the bottom of my feet and they were all blistered and stuff.) "Need any 'scrips?" "I know I am going to need to refill my Novolog, but that is done electronically." "Have you been to the eye doctor?" "No, I keep meaning to do something about that I'm sorry." "Well at least I get to 'yell' at you for something." "Fine, fine, I promise I will do my best before my next appointment." "That's all I ask."

After that I left, I went shopping, I wandered and had fun. I had so much free time and some of the stores by my endo. were not yet open, which annoyed me. Who the hell books an appointment on their day off at 8:30 in the morning?? This guy. Next time, it's at 10:00. Much smarter of me.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: The number 5

I cant believe it's Wednesday. That being said I am being proactive, while today you get some artwork, I am going to also write tomorrow's  blog now so I don't get distracted. Yesterday I had an appointment with my Endo. you will get the details tomorrow. I was entertained by this fact. I made it to the doctor's office 5 minutes early, my glucose at time of blood work was 55(more on this), and my a1c was 5.5. Yesterday was a good day for the number 5.
Who knew drawing the number 5 could be so much fun!!!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Bolus Worthy Day

With today being Thanksgiving, I realized this morning I have 87u in my pump. I panicked for a little bit just hoping that there is going to be enough insulin to cover the day. Granted the 87u would normally cover me and give me enough for about half a day or until 5:00 tomorrow afternoon. It does not take into account my desire to stuff food in my face. So I figured I would list my top 10 BOLUS WORTHY Thanksgiving treats.
You may have your own list, but well steal the idea and write your own blog than.

10.) Turnips - I know it's weird, but they are so good.
9.) Pillsbury Dinner Rolls
8.) Mashed Potatoes - throw on a little butter and Tabasco and these puppies are golden.
7.) Appetizers - Yes I could list them all in this list, but it really depends on the day and that entire vegetarian thing leaves my options scattered dependent on location.
6.) Sweet Potatoes (Yams) - Who doesn't love these things covered in their marshmallowy goodness, hell just give me the toasted marshmallows and I am happy as a Squee in Harry Potter World.
5.) Meringue Cookies - Made them last night, I had to sample 3 just to make sure they came out alright.
4.) Chocolate Mousse Pie - If only there were Peanut Butter in the mix.
3.) Cranberry Sauce - It needs to be the condensed canned stuff. I could eat it all day. Who needs turkey, gimme this stuff and I am happy.
2.) Aunt Gloria's Coconut Bars - These in and of themselves could be a meal covered by like 30 units of insulin.
1.) Pineapple Corn Bread - I truly cannot explain the goodness of this pineapple concoction. I will do my best to take a picture of it, if it shows up today. It is a rarity some years but SOOOOOO GOOOD!!! It deserves mispelt words and junk.

Anyway, thank you all for your support, readership, and friendship. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Most of you would be bolus worthy Thanksgiving treats too.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Friday, November 18, 2011

So my diabetes does not want me to exercise and other musings

I apologize it has been a few days, a week, I don't know since I have actually blogged about anything of substance. Call it writers block, call it bloggers block, or you can call it the fact that I was just plain lazy. I don't care, just don't call me about a cinnamon cure. 'Cause well we all know that it just does not work. Yes, you can quote me on it. CINNAMON DOES NOT WORK!!!

Wow, got that one out of my system. YEAH!!!! (sarcasm seems to be working)

Well now on to the real root of my problem. As of late my diabetes is conspiring with my other devices, Beepy McBeeperson (Dexcom), Blue (Animas Ping) and my bed. Yes, well my bed does not technically control my sugars and such, it does keep me happy and awake. So we will go to my first culprit, Blue.
Oh yeah he looks nice and pretty. You can't see the scratches and stuff. No guile what so ever. Yet when we run together he likes to play games. He likes to grab stuff when I run and jump out on me and grab stuff. He really is a jerk at times.

Not to mention Beepy McBeeperson. He is just as much of a pain. He likes to just sit around in my pockets and do not much. So I forget about him. Which is good.
Look at him, no guile on his face whatsoever. I would show you his graph which is pretty cool right now. But you would see where I am right now. I will tell you I am low, I am fine with that, it is just a number. I get yelled at for tweeting while low, darned if I am going to blog while low and have that staring at me as evidence... :-p But yes, Beepy McBeeperson. I am looking at you as I limp around today in pain. Why? Well you see I was playing Ultimate Frisbee last night. It was wet, it was muddy, it was awesome. I had my cleats on and was playing like a champ when low and behold as I was running to make a catch I slipped. It turned into more of a dive than slip, but I landed on you Mr. McBeeperson. You are fine (thankfully), but me not so much. While I do not have a bruise to show off. You hurt me. I swear I think I have a bone bruise, if nothing else bruised muscle or something. I am limping and can't really genuflect or kneel without pain.

Why oh why, won't you just let me exercise in peace to stay healthy. And you Mr. Bed, you are the worst. You inhibit me the most with your comforting presence. Your cozy blankets and warmness. How can I exercise when you call my name all the time. Jerk. Seriously.

All of these things are out to get me, to make me not want to exercise. But I am watching them and their sly ways. I am all about overcoming them, well except Mr. Bed. He is just to awesome!! Peace out cub scouts and all that fun stuff.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Faith Friday: Remembrance

I am sure something else may show up on here today. I have hit a brain freeze/ writers block, whatever part this week. So I went with words already written. Those used on Wednesday at my Grandmother's funeral. The thing is that some of this does not translate over well either since you did not know her or not able to hear the readings. But I felt that there needed to be something to fill the writing void for the week.

There is a phrase from Erma Bombeck that I quote often in homilies, so you may have heard it used before, but I use it because it is really a great line. She says, “When I stand before the Lord at the end of my life, I hope to not have a single bit of talent left and I can say I used everything you have given me.” This line applies to many of us, our lives what we have done or what we hope to do. To give everything of ourselves for others. This too can be said about grandma’s life and all that she has done over the years.

The readings we have heard today remind us of a few things, the first reading from the Book of Wisdom begins by reminding us that , “The souls of the just are in the hands of the Lord and no torment shall touch them. Like Gold tested in the fire he proved them…. Because grace and mercy are with his holy ones, and his care is with his elect.” Our second reading reminds us of the place that the Lord has prepared for each of us. Even if our “earthly dwelling should be destroyed we have a building from God, a dwelling not made with hands, eternal in heaven.” Lastly we hear in our Gospel passage the last line of the “Father will honor whoever served me.” The Lord honors those who serve and follow Jesus.
Each of these passages, each of these lines from Scripture serve as a reminder to us of both how we should live our lives, but also of the rewards promised to us if we do this. If we were to look at the life of Grandma we can see many parallels, to her own life of service. While much of Grandma’s early life is a mystery, even when we have each tried to find out about it, there are some things that we do know, we think. Born January 27, 1928 in Ballandine, County Mayo. Coming to the United States at about 18 years of age. Meeting up with and falling in love with Grandpa. Spending the rest of her years as a beloved wife, mother, grandmother, and friend to many. Grandma lived a good life.
She raised her children well. Even if the stories that my fathers tell us about their childhood antics are true or not the you turned out okay in the end. She loved her family and was always so proud of each of you and your accomplishments as her family grew her she was even prouder of each of us and of all our accomplishments. Anytime you spoke to her on the phone even if it was for the two minutes and thirty seconds we might be able to keep her on the phone. She always had some news to pass on or share about what someone in the family has done. And if you actually managed to talk to grandma for more than 5 minutes at least for some of the grandkids you had to know that something truly special was going on in her life.
The love she had, the care grandma had for each of us was amazing. Each of us has a story or maybe a tall tale about grandma we like to remember. Maybe it’s the time she rode home to her house on the back of Dad’s motorcycle, the story of grandma and her one handed vacuuming skills, the food she cooked, etc. We all have a memory that we will hold on to.

We also know of Grandma’s faith and devotion, up until the end her prayer, her desire to go to mass, all of those things are also part of her life. I do feel bad I was never able to get that bucket of Holy Water for Grandma so she could continue blessing everything she owned, I am sure she forgives me.
The passages we have heard today all build up in the end to the promise that the Lord has given to each of us in our lives. If we live a good, holy life. If we follow the commandments and what scripture tells us. A place has been prepared for each of us. A dwelling place our reward. Even until the very end of her life Grandma knew this, and held on to it. She was as ready as anyone for being called home to the Lord. When she was told that the cancer had come back and spread, she began planning for the next stages of her life. Where and who was going to say the funeral, what songs she wanted sung, what she wanted on her prayer cards. Prepared for the next step on her journey.
Truly for grandma we know where she has gone, where her soul has gone. We know that she can stand before the Lord and say “I have used all of the talent” you have given me, even if sometimes that talent was to cause some mystery or trouble in the family. She did use everything given to her. But we do she is in the arms of the Lord, she is with grandpa, but most especially know how proud she is of each and every single one of you and that she will continue watching over us, even though she is gone. 

Monday, November 7, 2011

An Incident

So as many of you read this weekend may have been a little stressful for me. Just ask the garbage can littered with wrappers from all things chocolate and peanut butter. SO GOOD! However, they were all properly counted and swagged for. So no major spikes. I avoided my morning spike too, but that may have been due in part to my breakfast....

Yeah, there may have been a small bacon incident on my egg sandwich.  It was so good, but I am not sure about how I actually feel about the entire meat thing. I may not dive head first in, but I am also going to do it slowly and snobbishly to avoid getting sick. However, I do share my solidarity with the DOC in my fascination with and apparent consumption of BACON!!!!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Moments of Wonderful

I had a goal and a plan that this month I was going to try my best to post a blog every day. I started out strong, but well to put it blankly. Shit happens. I know its crude language, I would have been more delicate. I blame it on my emotional state. That is my excuse and I am going to stick with it.

Yesterday, November 5, 2011, my grandmother passed away at 4:45 in the morning. She had been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, which had matasizied and spread to her liver and lungs. She refused treatment, but can you blame her?? She was 83, what would the chemo and radiation do for her? Prolong her life by two years, but have her in pain the entire time. No, I don't blame her. So even though she was given a 3 - 6 month time frame, something happened and she was called home to Lord. It is sad, I will miss her and the trouble she caused dearly. (She gossiped and spread rumors and trouble like an Irish Banshee).

So her passing yesterday upset the flow of everything and well I wasn't feeling all that blogging. So today, I thought I would look at a moment of wonderful I stumbled upon. I went shopping at Target for supplies, mouth wash, Cars 2 DVD, Chobani Yogurt, Fall Scented Air Freshener, and of course low blood sugar supplies. AKA discount HALLOWEEN CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For $5 I found this:

125 Pieces low treating stuff. I am so Happy, I mean I can't get that many glucose tabs for $5. BEST MOMENT OF WONDERFUL today.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Faith Friday: Friend of....

Who are your friends? Who are the people you turn to when you are in need? Who do you trust? We all can answer that question pretty easily. Friends, family, the DOC, whomever we all have the one person or group of people who are there for us when and if we ever truly need them. It is awesome. This month when we are so seeking others to help us and support us during Diabetes Awareness month, we have a sure and certain sign of the advocacy out there. Every Friday throughout the month we encounter  Blue Friday's.

Granted we must be careful. Some people who may be wearing blue today, just well may be wearing blue. How awkward would that be. "Hi five for D-Advocacy!!!" "????" "You are wearing blue to raise diabetes awareness right??" "No" (AWKWARD). I can think of a few people who may fall into the awkward hi fiving people category. I won't name names. Kim you know who you are.

The thing is that this month especially as many of us advocate for diabetes awareness, we know we are not alone, unless you hi five the wrong person.  Yet there are more things out there to realize as well. We truly are not alone, even when we think we are. There is someone else there to help us out. GOD. Yeah, the big guy is there for us as well.  Lately there has been a song stuck in my head, I mean stick your head in a microwave trying to pop the kernel of it out of your head stuck. The song is called "Jesus, Friend of Sinners" by the band Casting Crowns. The lyrics are great, the melody is haunting, it is a quality song. The album in fact is pretty amazing as well. If you want to hear the song, I am linking you to a video I found of it.

The lyrics though are what really caught me. Two different reasons though, the first part makes me wonder about how our "efforts" affect those around us, especially when we slam our opinions down their throats, whether they like it or not.

"Jesus, friend of sinners
We have strayed so far away
We cut down people in Your name
But the sword was never ours to swing"

Mind you I am not saying what is being done should not be done or is wrong. Yet at the same time our efforts, our over zealousness can shoot us in the foot. It can be more than people can bear. Sometimes we need to be tactful, subtle, maybe in how we address and handle people and their "ignorance, stupidity, cluelessness."

That was just a random thought, the other part of the song/message is the more important, what we hear in the refrain from the song:

"Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Open our eyes to the world
At the end our pointing fingers
Let our hearts be led by mercy
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors
Oh Jesus, friend of sinners
Break our hearts for what breaks Yours"

Let our hearts be led by mercy, the mercy that you show us. The care you have for us. The support you have for us. Let our hearts realize you are good. Let us remember that in our dark days, our times of need you are there for us. You have given other people the ability to help and support and guide us along the way. What more can I say? We trust our friends and families. We turn to them, when we are truly in need. We must also trust the Lord, believe that what is happening, is doing so for a reason. We cannot understand said reason, at least right now. But we must trust Him who watches over us and guides us. The Friend of all people who believe in him. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

A Moment of Seriousness

Today is November 3, 2011. I know that because my calendar told me that. It is a good day, so we think about everything that is troubling us. 'Cause that is some serious stuff. We evaluate it, think about it, dwell on it, and than guess what happens????


Sometimes we take things to seriously. Those moments of serious are fine. Yet at the same time we need those moments of sanity as well. The silliness, the stupidity, the attack from the #complexcrab. This one came in the mail from Sara. It was awesome. I haven't eaten the Taffy yet though. I am trying to figure out if the true origin of #complexcrabs has ever been fully explained. It shows up in hashtags and random conversations but have the originators ever truly explained it. I know I referenced Kerri on this and her take on crabs. Yet the other story from the #FFL crew, don't know if it was ever mentioned. The origin of the myth is like that of the Service Chicken or Service Penguin. An inside joke that was never truly made known to the public.

(New Paragraph) Sorry old habits die hard. The seriousness will always be there. I realize this. Life can be difficult. We reflect on the issues at hand. Yet we never know, when the #complexcrab will attack, complete with #rosespit (another story, another day). We embrace it, run with it. Find the humor and move on. Don't dwell on it to much.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Wordless Wednesdsay: Tied

I was exhausted last night getting ready for bed. I had just put my pump in my pocket so I could take off my belt and stuff. I was so tired I did not notice my had had gone through my excess tubing and I had tied myself to my pocket. I was also to tired to figure out how I did it. Yet I did have time to take a picture. Sigh. What an idiot.

(Added at 3:00 today. If you are curious I thought I would post a link to my other "tied" incidents with my pump, Murph, now Blue)

Monday, October 31, 2011

Top 10 Reasons why I dislike the DOC

It's true. I have many reasons to hate the DOC some days. Today you get the reasons in list form. Hey I'm lazy.

10.) Time: Do you know how much time I waste reading incite full blogs, comments on twitter, trying to follow all that is going on with my friends, while also trying to work?? Impossible.

9.) Twitter: Up until last year Twitter was something I had, but barely used. I followed some friends, but really it was an annoyance more than anything else. Now I can't help but have to use twitter, my phone, my ipod, my ipad. All have twitter so I can keep an i on things... Get it and i???? Oh I kill myself.

8.) Laughter: My office used to just have music coming out of it. Now I have to be careful that I don't start laughing to hard. People walk by, they look at me, ask questions. Yet how can I explain to them half of the reason why I am laughing my ass off. Usually Kimpants is the culprit. The conversation about the "fixing" of Billy Corgin was by far one of the worst for both of us.

7.) Tears: The same thing as laughter or more induced. I don't normally laugh so hard that I cry. Yet sometimes now more than ever in my life it happens so often. The conversations, again on Twitter, in Google Hangouts, on blogs are to much sometimes. I laugh, I cry, thankfully I don't piddle. It is amazing.

6.) Exercise: I hate to exercise, even though I try to do it daily. Some days I just DO NOT WANT TO. Yet on those days, I see the posts from various bloggers and twitterers and I know it is the right healthy thing to do. They inspire me.

5.) Cluesless: Mind you they are not clueless, I was. I did not know until I found the DOC how many people were in the same boat as I was. Some people having the same motivation issues I was having. Some having less. Others who had different problems. Yet we are all bonded as one sharing thoughts, ideas, time, and energy.

4.) Mothering: I have now adopted more mothers who worry about me. Yet it is good. You mention a low and people worry about you if you don't say anything after awhile.
Yeah that one low resulted in a me who had gone to bed early getting a text to check on me. Followed by me getting goaded into a Hangout. Mind you this is not a complaint.

3.) Mail: I got more mail now. None of it is spam or people asking for money, well sometimes. But postcards, jokes, CANDY!!! It is awesome.

2.) Bacon: I know this is a weird one. Apparently the DOC has this weird thing for unicorns, sprinkles, and Bacon. I'm a vegetarian who has developed an unnatural craving for Bacon now. Seriously guys, knock the crap out. I have only so much will power and I am convinced that Bacon is the gateway drug back to meat.

1.) Money: or lack there of. I have a decent job, the pay is not great, but I have no kids, I have no college to save for. So what money I have is mine. Yet I know it really isn't I seem to be bleeding money since I wandered into the DOC oh so many years ago. From #FFL11 last year where so much money disappeared into. The trip I am planning to visit Jess and Josh. The more money I have to spend for next years #FFL12 meetup. My money is going fast. I am fine with it. Money spent on friends is well worth it.

Yet had I known all of these things when I wandered into the DOC a few years back, would I still have done it??? Hell yeah. I hate them for it. For making me at home with them. Becoming my friend. For listening to me, humoring the bad jokes. I hate them for the laughter and tears. But if I go back to eating bacon, you guys are all dead. It is only a matter of time.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Show your Heart, but don't make me fart


Who the heck comes up with these titles anyway?? Oh wait that's me!

Last night, I had a costume contest with my Youth Group. It was so much fun. Two kids came dressed as me, which was awesome. Others came dressed in well clothing I would not let my 30 yr. old friends leave the house in, let alone a high school aged kid. I really enjoyed my costume. It was an "ironic" costume. I came dressed as a bowl of Halloween candy. (Basically I taped a bunch of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups" to myself. It was awesome. When people mocked the costume, I would say
Eat me!" and toss some candy at them. It was AWESOME.

The irony of course for those who knew was that the person with Type 1 Diabetes was covered in yummy, scrumptious, candy....... (drool) Yet, I was good, I did not eat myself. That did get me thinking though. The candy, not the jokes and innuendos and such. Halloween and Candy. Well truthfully it was less Halloween and more Candy. That "forbidden" fruit to all diabetics, kinda like Ice Cream it is something we should avoid at all costs. Just ask our friend Wendall. (Purposely not looking for him, it is better this way).

I would like to present to the court a different notion. We all know that if we plan it out and it is done in moderation, us pancreatically challenged individuals can enjoy the "forbidden" fruit just as much as anyone else. Bolus, eat, or eat, bolus, it doesn't really matter. There are those who in the past my parents included thought the right thing, the best thing to do was to give sugar free candy. Yes, that lovely fake chocolate or candy, that was supposed to make the withdrawal easier. You know where I am going with this.

SUGAR FREE CANDY IS EVIL. Yep, I said it. EVIL!!!!!!! It looks okay, usually tastes fine. Yet there is this small unexpected surprise when you eat this stuff. It's not the surprise at the bottom of a box of Cracker Jacks. Oh no, that would be nice. It would be the surprise to your poor tummy and well poop shoot. You know what I am talking about. The d-word and I don't mean "diabeatuuus". I mean
diarrhea. It is so scary I used a small font. Who here present has ever suffered the consequences of a sugar-free binge?? It is horrible. I swore that stuff off years ago, even pre-pump. I figured I would rather deal with the high's if I managed wrong, than to deal with the toilet. 

Who would think that the little warning on the back of the bag was so important? "Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect." Ya think??? I found this quote in an article from WebMD.

"This is thanks to the part of the sugar alcohol that isn’t absorbed. It goes through the intestinal tract and gets digested by bacteria of the gut. Discomfort ranging from gas to diarrhea can result -- depending on how much of the chocolate you consume and your individual intestinal tract.
"The sugar-free chocolates have definitely been helpful for my clients,” says Tamara James RN, CDE, diabetes educator for the University of California-Davis Medical Center. "But they don’t realize that too much of it will cause them intestinal problems."
The key to avoiding discomfort: "Just don’t pig out on it," says McNutt.
The American Dietetic Association advises that more than 50 grams of sorbitol or 20 grams of mannitol per day can cause diarrhea. You can tell how much sugar alcohol is in a serving of each sugar-free chocolate product by reading the nutrition information label (be sure to pay attention to the listed serving size)"

I only linked to page 2, yet the entire article is quite interesting. 

So back to the title of this article. With Halloween fast approaching, think about how to best handle the candy and sweet needs of yourself, your friends, or any children who may have type-1 diabetes. Allow them their fun and candy. Do it right. Let them eat it. Don't show your heart by making them fart... or worse. 

Thank you, thank you. I am here all day.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Laughter Revisted

I know it's been all of like a week and I am already revisiting my thoughts on laughter. Well maybe not revisiting. Because what I said last week is true. What I say today is true as well. Well true to me, you can come up with your own darn opinion. Today, I will do my best to not pick on anyone or have this post require any bonus links. Allyourpageviewsarebelongtome. Yeah, inner nerd is attacking again. Blast it.

So this past week, I have been more or less by myself at the parish. My boss was on a pilgrimage to Italy, which is nice, but that means all of the work falls onto my shoulders. Again, this is fine I can handle it and deal with 90% of the problems. I am a big boy and I even have my big boy pants on. (I have no idea where the line comes from, oh well).  The thing is just like my D, how do I handle it? HUMOR AND LAUGHTER.

Life can be stressful, work can be stressful, things will happen. Yet do this we must. The stress can either cause you to pull your hair out. In my case, I like the hair I have left so I am hoping to keep it. The stress can cause you to go nuts. (Been there the hugging jacket was nice and all, but so not my color.) Or you can just laugh about things.

That is what I did I have been in rare form, I have laughed about it all. Maybe sometimes scandalized people. Sorry again Amanda.

That one killed me. The thing is that this is what keeps me going. Not in the bad sense again. If you are always stressed, angry, annoyed, etc. You will lose it so fast. Yet if we keep a smile on our face and the laughter flowing, well we can make it through anything. I can do this, hell I did it. You can do this. I was so close this time. It is true though. No matter what, 99% of the time sense of humor can see you through the problems we have. If we find the laughter we are golden. If we don't well we are just "cotton-headed ninny-muggins".

Word. (Please don't ask).

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Wordless Wednesday - #nerdalert

Not just an ordinary watch. Yes it is my iPod as well. I have a "sport" band in the mail too. So happy!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Laughter is so much better than insulin

Continuing on my random theme of being me the posts from Thursday(Wednesday night), Friday, and today all kinda are tied together in the big picture. I am not a funny person by nature. Maybe funny looking, but my humor in all of its glory has taken me years to develop. Yet, I would not change it in the least. Yes, my sarcasm is varied, it can be funny, it can be critical, it can be judgmental. It can be all of the above, but it is part of what makes me, well me.

My jokes, suck 98% of the time, they are corny, I mean like I should be from Iowa or Nebraska or something corny. Yet, the thing is that people will laugh at them. Not the sympathetic or just plain pathetic laughter. Instead the get a chuckle out of the stupidity of what was just said. Why though? I mean I know my jokes are horrible, yet people laugh at them. Two reasons actually, 1.) I laugh at my jokes first so people feel they need to, in fact sometimes I think it is my reaction to my jokes that causes people to laugh at them. 2.) Timing. It is all in the timing. There is a joke about two comedians discussing what makes a joke funny. I wish I could record it and or tell it, but the one comedian answers with timing, at an awkward moment. More so, it is kinda like the the knock, knock joke:

Knock, Knock!
Who's there?
Interrupting cow!
Interrupting cow (MOOOOO) who?......

If you mistime that joke it crashes and burns faster than a run kills my sugars. So yeah, humor is key. Laughter is important. I can be serious, but I would much rather be goofy. My friends, family, and other people tell me how strange it is how I can turn it on and off right before mass, I am a total goof somedays, yet once the music starts, FR. BRIAN wanders out not Fr. Brian. But truly humor is so important.

When I have a bad day I look for something funny or fun to do. It brings up my spirits but others as well. Maybe sometimes I do provoke people in my delivery or how I handle things, but me = not perfect. Yet I think humor is what gets me through my days. When I am happy it is a joy to share, when I am sad it keeps me happy. It keeps my spirits up. It keeps me going. If I had to give it up, not only would I have a busted pancreas but also a busted Brian (shoulda said brain, but Kerri gets confused sometimes and it is easier for her to not have to reverse the letters).

I don't know, if I had the choice between a broken pancreas or a broken sense of humor. I don't know what I would choose. I mean my insulin pump can keep me going, I don't think there is such a thing as a laughter pump or anything like that. Without my humor I would not be who I am. Without having diabetes I know I would probably be someone different. The two things on some level go hand and hand and I am not sure I who I would have been without them. It's weird. But oh well. I would most likely though, keep my humor. Otherwise, the pas two posts would not exist, especially the one from Thursdays. If that didn't exist the comment I posted on Sara's blog would not exist. If that comment (fifth one down) did not exist, I would not be getting tweets like this from Sara.

Sara you know I love you. (END)

Friday, October 21, 2011


So for those of you who have yet to figure this out. I am a sarcastic person. Well sarcastic may not be the exact proper word for who or what I am, but it is the answer that I am going to go with today. defines Sarcasm as: harsh or bitter derision or irony or a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark. Yeah, that is me in a nutshell, but not so much. Apparently the quote, "sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." has been attributed to Oscar Wilde, but there is no written evidence of this either. Again, this is me, but I don't think so. 

Sarcasm is a venue in which what we want to say can be said in such a way that others can relate and see what we mean. ???...??? Brian, what the hell did you just say? Exactly. Sarcasm is just that, something said. Normally no ill will is meant, yet it may appear to be. Yesterday, my post may have been a little sarcastic. It may have been directed at the expense of my friend, I think Sara. Ooh, Sara, look I linked to you on Twitter not just your blog! Drat. There I go again. Sarcasm for me is part of who I am. It is normally not meant to be offensive. It is not a defense mechanism, as it once was. It takes just as much work to be sarcastic as it does to refine every other bit of humor. 

I mean honestly, sarcasm can be hurtful. Yes, yes it can. So can jokes about someone. Sarcasm can be blunt. So can my fist. Sarcasm can be critical, so can a comment such as "you're fat" or  "What the heck did you do to your hair". Sarcasm can be many of these things. Yet it can also be who we are. It can be a way to make light of a situation. "Dude, I'm sorry you have diabetes. It must suck that you can't have sugar and such." "I can't have sugar??!!!?!?!?! Oh chips and pringles. I'm gonna die!" "Can you eat cookies will they kill you?" "Normal cookies no, poison cookies, yes." It is a means of conveying a point without brutally ripping someone apart. We all have had that moment of "... did you really just say that? How do I do this nicely or not so nicely?" I believe Kelly refers to is as sometimes flipping the bitch switch. Sometimes we reply nicely, sometimes we don't. It doesn't mean we hate you or truly mean to hurt your feelings. Yet sometimes when someone says something so unbelievable we move past sarcasm and may rip into you. See #takethatwendell.

I don't normally go that far. For me sarcasm is just who I am. I have told people (Kerri) and others in the past. "If I don't make fun of you or if I ignore you completely. That is how you know I don't like you" So maybe I was sarcastic yesterday, but not to be mean. I love most if not all of my DOCers. I am who I am. I am unique. I am a diabetic. I am sarcastic. Deal with it. Know me, love me, hate me. Whatever, I don't care. 

(As to where this idea or post came from. I don't know. Guilt, sleep deprivation. An attempt to have another post. Who knows. Not me, not you, not anyone. Enjoy it or hate it.)

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Guilty as charged

So last week I was having a very interesting, slightly snarcky conversation with Sara. I love Sara, she is an amazing person.
Sara makes me laugh. 
Sara makes me cry.
Sara wakes me up, even when I have gone beddy bye.

(New Paragraph)Have you noticed all my linking to Sara's name?? I am sure you have. And I am sure you may be wondering why. Well last week Sara called me out so to speak. She called me a "lazy blogger" and I think at one point she also called me a man. I would hope that I was a man, I mean that's what the bits and pieces tell me. But yeah, so I am trying to make peace with my laziness. 

(New Paragraph) Did I ever mention I was sarcastic?? 'Cause I am sure Kim, C, Jess, Kerri, or Sara could tell you this. Why though am I doing this? Well it started out during a Google hangout, after being woken up by a text from Jess. There was concern that I was in trouble, since I tweeted that I was low and never tweeted after that. That is true, but well I tweet sometimes, not always. I haven't incorporated Twitter into my life as of yet. Anyway, I guess in my last post I mentioned people and didn't actually tag them. Guilty as charged, but it has nothing to do with laziness, maybe more of time constraints and also the fact that 99% of you who read me, link from people I reference. So sometimes I may mention someone who is "famous" in the DOC and assume you know them. Maybe that is wrong. Maybe I should always link to them. Yet again if I say Kim or Kerri, I am sure you know who these people are.

(New Paragraph) So yeah, that is why I am guilty. The other complaint made was as a guy I don't mark my paragraphs. Well if Blogger would let me tab my marker that would be fine. 90% of my posts you can figure out where the new paragraph starts, but again apparently I don't know how to use paragraphs. So I guess now I need to make an extra special effort to split up my thoughts and lines, just in case you really needed to know where my paragraphs ended. I will do my best. I apologize for the confusion. I really hope Sara is in a good mood when she sees this or I may get it tomorrow. (This post was written on Wednesday afternoon in a moment of total laziness and sarcasm.) Oh and apparently I may sometimes forget to close my (   ), that is all me. 


Wordless Wednesday: Pumpkin

I just want to state that pumpkins are a bitch to carve when you are using a knife normally meant to carve Roast Beast.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Faith Friday: Without You

I don't know who to blame for this maybe Sara, maybe somebody else, but over the past few weeks, month's Friday's I have noticed an explosion of the Faith Friday's or just been more alert and awake as I blog stalk. I kinda liked the idea of the Faith Friday. So much better than my redited songs on Friday, not that I am saying the songs were bad. I was entertained, but this has a little more substance.
I think the title of without you goes a long way. There are so many things that people love and get excited about. New toys ... Karen and her impatient waiting for her iPhone 4s (I am currently tormenting her online about it). New pets, Kim and any and all Billy Corgin reference (I would post some of them, but I think I have a limit as to how many hyperlinks can be contained in a post and well I don't have the time to post all 1,000 of them anyway). Sorry Kimmy. New babies, kids, nephews, nieces, husbands, wives, the list goes on and on.
There are other more essential things we might not be able to live with out. Blue and Beepy McBeeperson are so important. They have turned my life around in so many ways. The past 3 plus years, my control and care has never been better. Never to late to turn our lives around and make the step in the right direction. Sadly after about a 2 year run, my transmitter may be slowly dying. I started to use my Dexcom roughly around June 15th, 2009. I didn't mark the date, but I know it was late June. I have lost, killed, defected numerous receivers, but the transmitter just keeps going. It is great. I did get a new one last October since Dexcom called to tell me they could get me a new one free from insurance. But why get rid of one still working. One October later, I am still waiting for the puppy to die. The time is getting close, I think. The rep who called me a few weeks ago to tell me I was eligible for a new transmitter and receiver based upon last years reorder was kinda shocked when I told her the one from my initial order was still working. So I asked the all important question, how do I know when the transmitter is actually dying???
  1. Limited range (kinda check)
  2. Periods of being so completely off with the meter (kinda check)
  3. ???? more frequently (kinda check, but it could be the sensor)
  4. Transmitter fail (thank God not yet)
These are some of the hints I could face and see, but things are still hanging in there and holding on. So I am at the conundrum, if there is a chance that the transmitter may go in the next few weeks, do I change it this Monday? Monday is a free shower and a great chance to change it. I mean if the transmitter fails, do I lose that sensor as well, cause I would rather not lose the sensor, those buggers are expensive. So what to do. I DON"T KNOW!!!!
So yes, without Blue and Beepy, things would be different. Again, though this is only tech. There is the DOC, I can't even talk about all of you here. I would lose focus and so get lost on my idea for the day. But look at the help and support you have given. Look at all of the posts from KC Simonpalooza. The comments, the videos, the complete jealousy on my part that I couldn't be there. So many pictures, stories, hashtags, and videos. You support us all, you help us all. You all rock. Everyone in the DOC rocks, even if you think I hate you and I don't. You know who you are KMS.
All of these things, are effective. All of these things are great. If I had to do this alone, could I? Probably, I dealt with shots, and 60 second blood tests. I lived 14 years without knowing about twitter, the DOC, and the various sites out there. I lived through it all. But how did I do this? Family and friends, sure. There is more though. My faith and belief in the Lord.
Wow, this took me FOREVER to get here. I am over caffeinated and rambly (new word) today. But truly. Anytime I am down or was down before the DOC and various tech. Anytime I was depressed. Anytime I was low and unable to do much as I waited for the sugar to kick in. I turned my life to prayer. Sometimes just outright prayer of CURE ME!!! Yet more so, it was to calm me, focus me, help me find perspective. It was my support and comfort. It was my hopes and dreams. It was what I had. I knew and know that while there were others out there helping me. I had the Lord to help me. The answers to my prayers and requests for help and guidance came. I stumbled upon others out there. I found a person a T1, who helped me sort some of my issues out. I found Juvenation, I found Kimpants and C. I found the DOC. I yelled Yippee!!! (Sorry bad rhymes and poetry happen).
I know that while I was lost I should have done better for myself. I know though that while my cure is still waiting and out there, one of my prayers has been answered. That being all of you, all of my friends, all of the DSMAers, Bloggers, and FFLers. All of you were part of my prayers and all of you were the answer I was looking for. Without you, without Him, I would be lost. Thank you for being one of the answers to my prayers.

Right as I was posting this, Kim tweeted this, I fell over laughing. "This is the most awesome magnet I've ever seen. WANT. @lisafromscratch - thank you!!!)"

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Wordless wednesday: Holy wow

Nothing freaks me out normally. Unless it is a freaky ass spider crawling out of my fan vent when driving 60 MPH. I got the bastard though.

Friday, October 7, 2011

The no DDay... The NO D day .... tHe nO "d" Day

Georgie Porgie, AKA Ninjabetic ( I want to be a ninja) proclaimed today to be no D day (still not sure how to list this title). The premise from his page is.... "October 7th is “No D-Day” and it means we spend one day not writing about, tweeting about, and Facebook status-ing about Diabetes!"
I thought it was kinda awesome and cool. Granted I don't FB normally about D and twitter and I, while we do get along, I sometimes forget about him/her/it. So that was fine. Blogging is an inspirational thing. Friday Blogs are not always a gaurantee, but I figured ah what the fructose and said to myself, "self lets think about something to post about." So that's what I did. I thought and thought, picture Winnie the Pooh tapping his head saying, "think, think, think." And finally I did come up with something.

I like to think I am a pretty organized person. Relatively tidy, a place for stuff and it usually ends up there. Key word being usually. Monday night after a rousing game of Ultimate Frisbee, I came back to my room. I took of my sneakers, put my cleats down and notice something.
A bloody shoe convention
WTF?? How did this happen. Half of my shoes escaped from my closet which is two shoes away... (test, test, is this thing on?) and were all gathered to play with each other.

So I thought to myself, Brian you need to do something about this otherwise you will kill yourself when you get out of bed in the morning. So I took the time gathered each pair lovingly and put them back into the closet.  All's good or so I thought.....

Tuesday is my one day off a week. I love Tuesday, I sleep in, make me some breakfast, maybe hit up a movie. Who knows what I will do. It is just a good day. I wandered back into my rooms circa 2:00 napped, went for a run. Sat down on my chair and found this staring at me....
I know I put you away
Today's shoes having another convention in my "living room". I just don't get it. I know I put you away. Later in the day apparently the Flip Flops made it into the mix, not on purpose but I was to amused to take a picture.
Some people apparently have shoe/foot fetishes or something like that. I apparently have this urge to liberate my shoes all over my room and hope that they don't kill me. They have come close and I am pretty sure it's a conspiracy, but I just can't prove it. If you find out that I am dead and the cause is blunt trauma to the head just assume I tripped over a pair of my liberated shoes!

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dear Irony

Dear Irony,
You are so not funny. No matter when you sneak into my room. I just don't care for your sense of humor. Just because last week I mentioned night time lows does not mean you had to slip in on my last night. Yes I know it's all my fault. I did eat the Apple Compote (or however the hell you spell it) on my own. Yes I had to swag it since I really had no clue how to figure that yumminess out. But did you have to smack me in the face at 3:45 in the morning?? So not cool.
You know what else is not cool, the panic trying to figure out what time it is, just so I didn't over sleep. The unbearable lack of any coherent body movement as I tried to reach the 50 count bottle of Wild Berry Dex 4 Tablets. The fact that I downed more than I needed, but just wanted it to end. My room was cold enough and now that I am drenched in sweat, frikin freezing. Come on I don't have a Mr. Bigglesworth. So not cool.
That was this morning. Thankfully I survived, but you just let the irony continue. I mean it is 2:00 in the afternoon. I have had coffee, breakfast, lunch, and brushed my teeth, yet I still taste glucose tab in my mouth. What the fructose is up with that? I had to go and buy more glucose tabs, but thanks to sleuthy Jess over at Me and D I found out that Walgreens has been selling the new Dex 4 Naturals even though they do not show up on the Dex4 Website. Weird.
I got a free bottle of these when I was at this years Friends for Life. They are pretty good in the glucose tab department. Not as much after taste, which I am/was hoping for. So now I have 100 of these bad boys in two different locations. But still, Irony why??
The good news was once I recovered some functionality of my body I was smart about it. I got up, I moved around and stretched a little. I took some Advil since I knew I was going to be sore and have a headache. I bolused lightly to keep the glucoaster in check as much as possible. I topped out at 186 this morning. So yeah, its all good. I just hate it. The lows, the fact that even though Beepy is next to my ear and beeping and vibrating up a storm I sleep through it. The fact that I still haven't figured out what to do if an even worse low hits. That's my own stupid pride. I will get to it one day.
Dear Irony, you taught me a lesson. Go home and take this bloody glucose tab taste out of my mouth!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Wordless Wednesday: $600

This weeks WW came to me two weeks ago when I was low, and was one of the few things scribbled on the post it note in last weeks blog. Hence why I did not make the picture clear. I is smarter than I seem.

Both cost $600 retail
People line up for the latest and greatest. Are willing to pay anything for the newest bit of tech, especially when it has that weird Apple Logo on it (guilty at times). Yet the item on the right is so much more important and people can't afford to get their insulin supply because of the cost. We supplement cell phones, why not insulin. Let's be honest here. How much is the markup on each bottle of insulin??

Friday, September 30, 2011

Now What??

Today is kind of a continuation of yesterday's blog. Do I really need the link?? Nope, but what the hell, why not? I was hoping to get some type of response from my questions yesterday, but I know sometimes things may be delayed. If I see something, I will make sure to share them all.
I use the title now what? for a reason. While technically I have other people that live with me. I live by myself. It is me verses any and all demons I may face at night. It could be the imagined weird demons that I sometimes dream about. It could be the lifelike nightmares of OMG, I just got robbed and now I am trying to fix a dated Ice Cream dispensing machine at a bar (That dream is courtesy of my post mass nap at 7:30 this morning, so bizarre). To the worst demon of all, the 2:00 low. I hate the 2:00 low, I mean sometimes I will just wake up and realize, aaw sprinkles I'm low. Those I can handle, that is what the handy bottle of Dex4 glucose tabs is there for right?? I pop a few and pass out in exhaustion. I realize this is not the best way to handle things, but I don't sleep well as it is, so the near catatonia of a low makes falling asleep so much easier. That I can handle.
It is the other demon, I am not a big fan of, it seems to happen only when I have some strange ass combination of pizza, dairy, or something. I call it the combo bolus fail or the near death temp basal. Neither of these demons are fun. Usually for me, I wake up in a pool of sweat, soaked through sheets, pillows, penguin footy pajamas (i wish I had those), in an obvious daze. This is coupled by the realization that I am low. Next the panic of either a. my arms are asleep (WHERE THE FRUCTOSE DID MY ARMS GO??) panic or the b. I moved my arm to the right and it just poked me in the eye, WTF?!?! Oh I hate letter b. thank goodness he only comes and visits very, very, infrequently. He knows I don't like him.
In either case though, you are stuck lying there without the ability to really do anything. I have to be patient and hope that I will eventually get enough fine motor control to get to the glucose just out of arms length away. After what seems like forever, I am able to master enough fine motor control to get my glucose tabs, I do my best to jam a few in my mouth, my nose, ear, all over the bed. You know, whatever my hand feels like doing. But now what?

See, I eventually got to my title. I sometimes ramble, that is another story.

So now I lie in bed, with thoughts of oh crap in my head. 
My sugar is low and I am moving oh so slow. 
I ate my tabs even though some are sprinkled about my abs. (or where my abs once were)
I lie and wait, almost as if I am on a date.
I close my eyes almost as if its a dare and I turn my thoughts to prayer.
It clears my mind and helps put the past behind.
But most of all, I have found that one to call.

That's right, in my moments of panic, lack of coherency, rushed heart rate as I lie in bed waiting for my sugar to rise enough for me to get out of my soaked clothes, drink some water to get the weird taste from my mouth. Contemplate an early morning shower to warm up and address the cramps in my legs I will feel for the next two days. I pray. Nothing spectacular. Usually a few Hail Mary's but also just thanks that I woke up in my bed on my own accord eventually not in the hospital or worse. That's what I do. I turn to the one who made me, who gave me life. Who has given me the strength to do this, the friends to get me to where I am now. 
Some people may find this bizarre, I have met those people out there who ask me, if I am angry, bitter, or upset that I was "made" a diabetic. Do I ever curse him? Honestly, not so much. I do have my days of "why me??" But they are not so frequent. How can I hate the one who has given me so much. Loving parents, friends, family. A support structure out there of nuts or noots in the DOC to help me if needed. 
Things could be so much worse. I hate the lows that happen. I wish I could control them better, but well I am working on it. The now what for me in my time of need is prayer. The now what in my life at many points is to turn to prayer. It is grounding, calming, it is awesome. You may not agree with me, you may think it weird, but that is fine too. Just as we all have opinions on how to take care of ourselves despite what our doctors tell us or how we bolus a piece of yummy pizza. We are all different, we are all unique, we all do what we can. Our differences are what make the DOC so much fun. We may not share all the same beliefs, but we do have one thing in common. 
Our love of cupcakes and possibly bacon (the vegetarian in me wants to say this is a bad idea, but the repressed carnivore is telling me to stuff an olive up my nose and go back to meat.) On that note, my craving for cupcakes has just attacked so I am going to put something not even remotely cupcake like in my mouth to shut it up.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

How do you deal??

A very muzzy (I was going with vague, but I checked my Thesaurus and was all over the word muzzy) title I know, but it's because sometimes that is how things feel to me. This thought was generated Tuesday night as I was low, but it goes back to last week as well. So I guess I should start at the beginning and not the end or middle or where ever the heck we are starting.

Once upon a time, it was a Wednesday night. Brian in his normal routine or well now his normal routine sat down at his comfy desk and participated (sarcastically made fun of people and talked slightly piratey) in the #DSMA that happens every Wednesday on Twitter. I was minding my own business as is always the case, when Captain Low Ass appeared, not sure where that came from but I am going with it. It was probably about 10:02, when he finally attacked. Sadly, oddly, my CGM slowly trickled down not the double dip or what so I never was alarmed about this occurrence. I was picking on Sara about something when she tweeted back, something along the lines of, "I'm still waiting on your e-mail." Nothing bad, wrong, or hurtful about it.

For some reason though, the attack of Captain Low Ass and the comment just did it. I had not reply, retort, comment for her. My brain had momentarily died. It was at that point that I realized that this was happening in the first place. So I tested since Beepy was delayed and low and behold I was 46. Get it low... Sorry. So I did what I normally like to do, raid the fridge. I went down stairs and not trusting my self with a glass started to imbibe some OJ. Well imbibe is not the right word. I drank some of it, my shirt and the floor got the rest of it. Problem solved. At the same time, I had one of my genius lows. This time I even noted, I should jot down what I was thinking. So I run back upstairs and start trying to get my thoughts out onto a post it note with a pencil. I didn't have much success as pictured below.

You don't actually need to see what I wrote. It was creative cursing at its best. But also a blog post idea, no hints.

I got so pissed, angry, and actually teared up. Last Wednesday Diabetes made me cry. Probably for like the second time in my life. I can handle it. I can deal with it most of the time. But the low, the brain dead, the inability to have a thought, everything just made me cry. It was like a 10 second affair. Yet, it still pissed me off to the nth degree. I wrote a note to my diabetes in word after about 10 minutes. It was about a paragraph long. I did not save it. I just vented and yelled at it. I let it know I was angry. And I moved on, I think, but I am still resentful of Wednesday of last week.

Fast forward to last night. I was in bed, minding my own business watching Voyager on my iPad, (I so love Netflix). I finished, I curled up to sleep at around 11:55. I woke up at 12:08 feeling low. Brain numb, not body numb low. Reached over popped some tabs. And fell back into a slumber. I know not the best thing, but I was so out of it. I am glad I was alert enough to treat. This is where everything leads to. The muzzy title and all. How do you deal??

How do you deal with the night time lows or the lows in general? Do you have a plan? I am jealous of all my friends out there who have their other or better half. Their type awesome who helps them out. But there are some who are just type 1's on their own. I have no back up plan. I have nothing. My friend Jeanette called me a few weeks ago and told me about a low she had (she lives like 20 minutes away). Her parents were out of town and it was just her. As she was telling me this, she spoke of calling her neighbor at like 12:00 in the morning and them coming over and getting her drink and just making sure she was okay. I don't have that. I realized, I don't have a back up plan. It's just me verse the low and I always hope I can win. So far so good. But what do you do? I don't have a Becca, I don't have a reliable service penguin to warn me. I have me and my dashing sense of humor.

What is your emergency plan? Can I steal it? Let me know, so I can truly look at it and pass it on to those who read me.