Doctor Visit

Today's post is really short. I mean like Sara short.... I mean, uhhh crap.

I went to the Endocrinologist for my 4 month check up. It still cracks me up, that unless I really have any major concerns, my average appointment length is more than half as long as it takes me to get to see my doctor. But I am not complaining, Dr. Kissin is a really great lady and very easy to talk to when needed.

Here's the run down.

Standard Greeting/ Response
Any blood work?? Oh, here's the file.
Everything looks good.
Here's the stuff from Beepy and my meter.
Wow...
Any changes to your pump/basal settings?
Okay, lets hop on the scale.....
(They always set the starting weight so low, apparently I truly don't look my weight).
Hmm... You've gained about 10 pounds. (Crap!)
Alright, lets check your breathing, pulse, blood pressure.
All's good! (Woot.)
Let me see your feet.
Did you know your ankles swollen?? (What?!?! Well I'll be damned, I mean it was sore and all.)
You should probably ice that. (I guess I shouldn't play basketball tonight?)

Well you really need to get your eyes looked at... I will I just need to find someone in Clifton, who does that. I am not going to drive back to my other person. Fine, fine.

Any prescription refills? One Touch Delica, okay no problem. Your all set. Have a good day.

15 minutes tops. I love it. I mean, I know that when/if I have issues she will talk to me more. We spoke about the Ketone Meter and everything, so it was all good.

Now I am going to post a picture of what my a1c was. If you want to look at it scroll further. If you don't, stop here. Today was a decent day, other than the 10lbs. Need to get back on a routine. Only 25 more days to the Outer Banks.

Running up against the wall so to speak

Recently I have hit a wall. Actually, figuratively, hypothetically. I don't know. The wall is just hanging out there tormenting me. I hate the wall.

Stupid wall. Maybe it is burn out. Not the normal run of the mill diabetes burn out. I mean, do I have days where it is a pain in the ass to test, change, bolus, basal, whatever? Yes. But I am fine with that. I mean we all have things we hate. I mean getting up at the crack ass of dawn drives me nutso, I think I don't like that more than I don't like my diabetes (weird). But such is life.

It is the other things about life that I am tired of. While people tell me I am thin and all, I am not thin nor am I fat. But my goal was before my next doctor's appointment (tomorrow), that I was going to drop 15 pounds. I'll be lucky if I only gained 5 or so pounds. My goal was to run more but also work on my sprinting and training for sports such as Frisbee and the like. That failed. I am just so annoyed with myself. I mean there is so much that I could have been doing and have done not one thing. I had a routine, that's shot. It's all gone, the motivation everything. The frikin brick wall is out to get me.

It is just a pain. We set these goals, and yet never finish them. But where do I go? I know I can start from scratch, but why? I had a great routine going until the ankle incident in the fall. That set me back. There were other incidents as well. I feel stronger, my ankle is great. I should be out there, yet the excuses are there time and time again. I am just annoyed. Tomorrow's appointment with my endo will be interesting. I mean, my control has been pretty good. Not to many High's and my Low's are in better control. I am hoping for a good number, but we shall see. I just need to get over this hump.

Who knows maybe the hump is the inevitable mid, midlife crisis. I turn 30 on Sunday so that also has me in a funk. Not the age or number. No, not at all. The "old man" aches and pains that I have. The loss of energy. Who knows. I am tired and beat up. Not motivated at all. What a joke, what a waste. I need to turn it around, but every time I try or start, that bloody wall is there.

No Music Today

Today is a fail in my eyes.
I have no song and I can hear the cries.
I am so tired, since I couldn't sleep.
The song part of my brain is not making a peep.

Yeah, sorry that is all I have as of right now. I have the music in my head, I just can't think of anything. Well, truthfully I am just really busy. My boss has been away the past two weeks and I am now the "responsible" one in charge of things. Can I handle it? Well the normal stuff yes. Not the maintenance man jumping from shifting scaffolding and breaking his femur. The multiple funerals and other things that seem to only come in when the boss is away. The list of things keeps going on. Yet all is good. I just need sleep and when the boss comes back on Sunday I am all about laziness.

I mean there are some positives out there and I am not speaking about the 100+ heat outside right now. I have had a chance to think about things. Like last night, when I was trying to sleep. It finally happened around 3:00 AM. I thought about changes in life, in what I should be blogging about things like that. I decided to blog about some FFL Swag next week. I just need to speak to the proper people about certain things. I thought about maybe, what I can do to tweak my blog in general. Pictures, maybe a new look, who knows.

But truthfully last night, I thought about how lucky I am and how lucky so many of us are. To have some many friends out in the DOC is amazing. To have met them just a few weeks ago, was awesome. I mean before meeting them my involvement was in the inner/outer fringes of things. Twitter was the sound that birds made. Tweet was the same. I mean I have had twitter but never the need to deal with it or really use it. That changed.

I have names, I have faces, I have friends who understand. I know they can be forgiving, yet mocking of auto-correct typos. Yes, I am talking to you #complexcrabs. They make me laugh when I need it. I am so glad to have my own office and desk. Because some days the stuff these people say kill me. I mean, in tears laughing my ass off. I have support that I never knew of. Yes, I have a great endo. I have a really good friend who is a PWD, but never anyone to really, really talk to. I have the inspiration to get more involved. Granted, the "Great Poison Ice Cream Scandal" is something I am yet willing to wade into. That is more because the nicest thing in my vocabulary at this point is asshat. So I think I will let coolerish heads prevail.

I have the support I need when I need it, which is something that has been lacking in my life. All of this is stuff I thought about last night, while trying to sleep. And while yes I told Kimpants (auto-correct renames her Implants) I tried to read her blog to fall asleep last night. That is not true. I have people who I can just say words to and know they understand. I have a knowledge base about certain things and ideals out there. I mean thanks to Sara, I now know how to make my Dexcom last longer than it ever could. Thanks to people like Kim, C, Jess, Jacquie, Scott, Scott, Martin, Heather, Karen, George, Kerri, I have a way to laugh all the time. I mean this is only the beginning. There are others out there I may have forgotten. Lorraine and Shay. The coolest Type Awesome Josh and Becca the T9. OMG so many. This is so great and wonderful. I am so blessed and lucky right now.

It's a wonder with all of these thoughts racing through my head, why I couldn't sleep last night. Thank you guys, you rock. And yeah Halloween with real candy is so on.

Again, thank you all. You have passed on more than you know and I hope I too can emulate you on some levels. Just not the in love with Sam Talbot that C and Jacquie and Sara were toting. That is all you girls... :-p

Friday and another song

Kimpants and all last night inspired this song on me. I don't know why, how, or where it came from. But I was tweeting them and I said to self, "crap I need another song for Friday." Followed, by "I feel like it will be alright." So yeah, you have to have a clue where this song is coming from.
By the way if you type Kimpants into your phone auto correct changes her name to Implants. Later I may tell you about some of my more humorous auto corrects this past week.

Thank you Black Eyed Peas for a song that is so easy to adapt. Granted I could have kept going with more of this song, but the repetition was killing me.

"I Gotta Feeling" (Blood Sugar Version)

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low, low night.

It’s a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night, 

That tonight’s gonna be a low night, 

That tonight’s gonna be a low night. 

 

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night

That tonight's gonna be a low night

That tonight's gonna be a low, low night

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low, low night

 

Tonight's the night, bolus up
I got to swag, to keep it up
Go out and eat it, like oh my God
I overbolused, oh crap I was off

I knew that bolus was off

If  only I had counted and done what was right

I feel stressed out, I need to eat some more

I might as well eat like I’m losing all control

Fill up my cup, not Diet Coke

Look at me sweating, can’t stop it now
Let’s test my sugar, it’s spiking down
I’ll eat some carbs, and then we'll test it again

Let's test it, let's test it, let's test it, let's test it
And test it and test it, let's hope it’s up
And test it and test it and test it, test it, test it
Let's test it, let's test it, let's test it

I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low night

That tonight’s gonna be a low, low night.

A feeling, woohoo, that tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low night
That tonight's gonna be a low, low night